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Olivia Mian

Grade: 11

Hathaway Brown School

Instructor: Scott Parsons

I Hate You Poem

Poetry

I Hate You Poem

I Hate You Poem
I always meant to tell you that I hate you
That you made my life more difficult
Oh how many times my tears have been your doing
Your fault
You made me doubt myself
and question my gravity
You made me dread doing what I love
I never imagined anyone could have that power over me
I used to sit there and watch the door and hope you wouldn't arrive
yet every time you did
And it was the worst day because of it
Your fault
Your fault
'You made me want to apologize for my own success
You never let me feel confident or like I did my best
You were my greatest competition, my rival through and through
but when did my success just become about beating you
When did I begin to look for your name first
When cast lists came out and audition results were posted?
When did I start to care only that my roles were bigger than yours?
You started ruining my days when your pirouettes were good
Stop giving me fake hugs and putting hearts on your texts
I know that you're just lying
You're a liar, I saw you try to trip me
But why aren't you unhappy?
This is your fault
It's all your fault
They always cast me better than you
And oh, how did you hate it
But when did I start reveling in your glares and your frustration
When did I start focusing on you more than I focused on myself?
You are taller than I am and more flexible and skinnier too.
But you don't even work hard
I am sure of it
No, you never do
I always wished that you would move away
I never thought you'd do it
But now I never see you
Do I miss you?

No
No way
But now who will I blame when my pirouettes are bad
Now whose fault is it when I'm unhappy with my casting
But I was never unhappy with my casting
Because it was always better than yours
Although now I don't know how to feel about it
Since my rival has moved away
I'm not happy at all
So, I guess I kind of miss you
In a hateful sort of way
In truth I guess I sort of needed you to give me some motivation
But I thought I had my own motivation
I thought this was my very favorite thing
It's been my very favorite thing, ever since I was a child
And it was you who tried to ruin it
Or I guess
Actually maybe I did
I'm sorry I was never proud of you
My darling dearest enemy
I guess I got carried away in hating you
I guess I got carried away
I am sorry that I used you to hide from myself
Perhaps those tears were actually my doing
Perhaps it's my fault
I think it's all my fault