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Evelyn Burdsall

Grade: 12

Hathaway Brown School

Instructor: Scott Parsons

Stable

Poetry

Stable

I know my scars are not just external
They are also internal as well
My knee
The blood rushing through tissue
Tissue that was once muscle
Pink and strong
Now black and blue

As I place ice so cold it is fire on my knee,
I still smell the chalk
Hot and heavy
My lungs close as I breathe in
I run
Run towards the vault
The most stable event

Now almost seven years later
I can only turn away as the eleven year old runs
At 18 I know what will happen
I wish I could stop her
I could not
What happens to her must happen
Even though it forms a scar she will become stronger
Still I close my eyes
When her knee pops I hear her cry out
A volcano erupts spitting lava sharp and fast down her leg
She stayed in the pit paralyzed.
And then, finally she was able to get out.
I shake my head
Even though she will become stronger, the 11 year old me is in for one hell of a ride.

No matter how long ago it was.
It still hurts
A lot
Somedays I can barely put weight on it
An explosion of pain up and down hits me in the shower
The center of my right knee bright red and swollen twice it's size
I suck in a breath picking up my leg shifting all my weight to my left leg.
I am not going to cry
I've stopped crying for my knee three years ago.
Still I can taste the memory of salt hitting my lips even now.
I shake my head.
The shower water hits my head as more memories assault my mind
Memories from the doctor
   Why don't you ice? I do
   Well why don't you take medicine? I do.
   Are you even if pain? I can barely walk!
   Then why are you still diving? I don't answer
   I think you are exaggerating! But what I heard was I think you are faking! I am not!
I sigh.
Even if it's the same treatment ~ ice, Advil. Repeat!
It won't do anything
Whatever
What's another six years anyway?