Writing Catalog
Sarah Carlile
Grade: 12
Mayfield High School
Instructor: Kari Beery
Sinner be Saved.
Poetry
Sinner be Saved.
i don't believe in God.
so no, i'll never (again) say that
He saved me. and He loves me. so i know He's real.
you see, i can't go back to that mindset because now i know this much to be true:
i can't believe in a being that never existed.
because that's what the world taught me, that
believing in God is just me lying to myself to provide me a sense of false security?
so how could i ever say that
everything that is mine is because this all-mighty and merciful God blessed me with it
and that's why
i still have faith. and hope. and love. and peace.
while living in a broken world like this?
but you know what i have now?
nothing but trust issues, despair, hate, and a war.
because i was left with
people who only selfishly care about themselves.
people who couldn't care less about whether i live or die.
and now, i'm done with
trying to find the good… and trying to find God within it.
so i finally started
to come to terms with the truth of His existence.
and i changed my perspective
God never existed… and I'm damned to spend eternity miserable.
so i stopped believing the lies I was told, like
God has a plan for me, and everything that happens, all happens for a reason.
because the world just couldn't believe that
i mean, how could a lifetime of trauma and pain ever amount to something better, right?
everyone called me crazy.
when i had crashed down onto my knees and prayed out to a God i wasn't even sure i still believed in to save me;
all i wanted was to be taken from a nobody and be turned into a somebody worth something.
but little did i know, He never cared about any of that.
i would never deserve to be healed… none of us would.
and now, I can finally say that i gave up in thinking that
i believe in God.
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