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Sarah Carlile

Grade: 12

Mayfield High School

Instructor: Kari Beery

Sinner be Saved.

Poetry

Sinner be Saved.

i don't believe in God.

so no, i'll never (again) say that

He saved me. and He loves me. so i know He's real.

you see, i can't go back to that mindset because now i know this much to be true:

i can't believe in a being that never existed.

because that's what the world taught me, that

believing in God is just me lying to myself to provide me a sense of false security?

so how could i ever say that

everything that is mine is because this all-mighty and merciful God blessed me with it

and that's why

i still have faith. and hope. and love. and peace.

while living in a broken world like this?

but you know what i have now?

nothing but trust issues, despair, hate, and a war.

because i was left with

people who only selfishly care about themselves.

people who couldn't care less about whether i live or die.

and now, i'm done with

trying to find the good… and trying to find God within it.

so i finally started

to come to terms with the truth of His existence.

and i changed my perspective

God never existed… and I'm damned to spend eternity miserable.

so i stopped believing the lies I was told, like

God has a plan for me, and everything that happens, all happens for a reason.

because the world just couldn't believe that

i mean, how could a lifetime of trauma and pain ever amount to something better, right?

everyone called me crazy.

when i had crashed down onto my knees and prayed out to a God i wasn't even sure i still believed in to save me;

all i wanted was to be taken from a nobody and be turned into a somebody worth something.

but little did i know, He never cared about any of that.

i would never deserve to be healed… none of us would.

and now, I can finally say that i gave up in thinking that

i believe in God.

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